Whether you're just starting out at family dinners or want some ideas for how to spice your dinners up, here are some suggestions from a variety of parents who have found workable ways to do dinner (or any other meal) with their families.
On Sunday, before the week begins, look at everyone's schedules and pick several nights that everyone can eat together. Set a time, have everyone write it down on their calenders, and make your best attempt to slick to it.
If the customary dinnertime doesn't fit with teens' schedules, try a "midnight meal" when they get home to talk about the day or movie.
Before going shopping, ask the kids to pick a menu for what the family will eat for a night or two that week. If your teen would like to prepare part that meal, welcome that opportunity .
Have a child or teen family member make dinner for the family one night a week. Encourage creativity.
During dinner, clear the table of clutter (bills, homework, mail) and turn off the phone so the focus is on each other and the food.
During dinner, turn off the TV so that people can talk. The TV is not a family member! Talk about what happened in everyone's day: school, job, friends or what was in the news.
Establish a routine way to start and end the meal. To begin, some families light a candle, say grace or pour milk. To end the meal, parents can excuse everyone, the candle can be blown out, everyone can stay until everyone else is done eating or whatever works for your family.
Determine a reasonable length of time for dinner. While 45 minutes may be a goal, 20 minutes might be more realistic for families unaccustomed to eating togther.
Keep conversation positive. If kids think of the table as a place for conflict and discipline, they won't want to be there.
Ensure that everyone gets airtime in dinner conversation so that one person doesn't dominate and so that a quieter person has a chance to talk.
For an occasional conversation starter, bring a newspaper or magazine article to the table to talk about.
Encourage lingering around the table for relaxed conversation. Serve dessert or coffee. Even if it's just the adults, the kids will see by example that the dinner table is an enjoyable place to be.
Share the clean-up chores. Some parents find that good communication occurs on a full stomach while washing the dishes one-on-one with a teenager.
Start the pattern of family dinners when kids are young. It's much easier to develop this pattern when they are pre-schoolers than to start when they are teens.
You don't have to fix a fancy meal. Goodtasting food doesn't necessarily take a long time or a lot of skill to prepare. Rarther than focusing on the cook's ability, focus instead on the enjoyment of shared time together.
